" HEROIN THE OMEGA "
By Arthur Forrest Tull II, (Aug 30, 1957-March
11, 1995)
Arthur Forrest Tull touched both the souls
of countless people searching for salvation from the torment
of addiction, and those seeking solace from the pain of mental
illness. Forrest was dedicated to guiding others toward the spiritual
path that had been his saving grace from a life of heinous heroin
addiction. He also suffered from manic-depressive illness, a
demon which he fought on a daily basis. Yet he was the kind of
person who would never turn his back on a friend in need -- what
was going on in your world was important to him and it showed.
People were instantly drawn to his charismatic karma. Forrest
once saved the life of a 19-year-old who was trying to hang himself.
Tragically and ironically, however, he took his own life. It
was not heroin, but the demons in his head from the manic-depressive
illness that he was unable to conquer, despite numerous hospitalizations,
the support of an amazing family and a vast network of friends.
He is loved and missed by all. He frequented coffeehouses and
read his poetry, because he had something remarkable to share.
It was his wish that "Heroin The Omega" reach those
who would benefit from its powerful message.
-- submitted by Lisa Hook, Waterford, Michgan,
native Ohioan and Kent Stater
HEROIN THE OMEGA
I'm sittin' onna broken
Toilet
me
sittin onna broken toilet
filled with AIDS contaminated
human waste
from hookers n' junkies
me with
roaches
n'
condoms n'
filth
at my feet
from
a hundred million
pathetic
fixes n' fucks
inna burned out crack
house
near Chalmers n'
Jefferson
tryin'
to git this here 26 gauge
needle
this rusty needle
inta the vein
in my groin
you know
into that little hole
i've used so many times
before
you know
the black one
oozing pus n'black
blood
that little hole
I've hit so many times
before
You know
you know
the one with the ugly
rash
and infection around it
you know the one
and I'm tryin' at feel
good again
like, you know
like I did
so long before
me hands
me poor hands
me sad ol' hands
is all black n' blue
and swollen
me swollen hands
swollen like boxing
gloves
and so swollen you know
that my crusty fingers
my ugly little fingers
don't work properly
you know
and I'm foolin'
me the fool
me the fool
I'm foolin'
with this used rig
I found on the floor
me the fool
me the junky fool
me
the shit goin' solid in the
syringe
and I can't even git a fucking hit
I can't
but it's gonna be alright
you know
cuz I'm gonna git it
together
you know
I'mma gonna git it
together
you know
real soon
I am
man I ain't shit in 2
weeks from that fucken
methadone
and I got this case comin' up
for dealin'
but my friends in line at
the clinic
bin telling' me how to
survive in prison
and I got busted agin
last week
with a bundle with a
bundle
but it ain't about nothin'
cuz I got a good mouth-
piece
right?
But my veins are all
gone
my blood black veins
all gone
except for what's left of
this one
in my groin
But it ain't working
and I'm bogue as shit
and my lover O.D.'d last week
man
I woke up from a 14
year nod
and she was just a lyin' there
on her back
on her back man
nude, man
there she was nude
onner back
dead stiff n' cold
with this mouth
this gaping mouth
man
this wide open mouth
teeth bared like some
sick demon fangs
with evil foam all over
her face
and man she just turned 23
and I loved her as they
took her out inna black plastic
body bag
(she hated plastic
you know)
But I'm tryin' to get off
crap
as I think about how I ripped off
my parents silverware
for this fix
dig
and I'm broke
but it's alright cuz
I'm gonna get it together
next week
ok?
My feet are so swollen
that I can't tie up
me shoes
and I piss blood
and I can't eat without
pukin'
so I'm livin on
McDonalds milkshakes
but
I know
there's sumptin' bad wrong with my stomach
and my hairs fallin' out
in clumps
my skin is green
and
I need to see a dentist
cuz my teeth are rottin'
but it's cool
cuz I'ma gonna get this hit
this here hit
this one hit
and bang these 4 paks
even tho it ain't working
and I'm tired
I'm sick and tired
I am
tired
so sick n' tired
I'm so fucking sick and tired
and lonely
and alone
and I keep goin' under cuz I'm shootin so much
dig
even tho the shit aint getting me off
but I tell you what man
I'll tell you what
I say I'll tell you what
man I'm gonna get it together soon man
I really am
I am
I really am
dig
and it's all cool anyway
cuz heroin is so fucking hip
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