george andersonGeorge Anderson was born in Montreal and presently lives near Sydney, Australia. He started writing poetry about four years ago and has published poems in dozens of publications worldwide, including Zygote in My Coffee, Scorched Earth, Divan, Get Underground, Real Eight View, Thunder Sandwich, Remark, My Favorite Bullet, Antipatico, Thylazine, Megaera, Blackmail Press, Southern Ocean Review, and Five Bells
Leaving Motueka, New Zealand1 Greg slaps me heartily on the back/ drunkenly says I can stay for breakfast says he’ll cook us up ‘a big feed’ of bacon & sausages & eggs says there’s a bed out the back says if I’d prefer- I can sleep with him He cackles loudly & I’m unsure whether he is serious 2 This is another one of those stories where things go wrong; fuck up the sort of times you wish you could have handled situations differently but that’s where the joy & essence of life comes from- you rushing headlong into the moment without fear without you fully thinking it through At the time I was working for Lex Boyce on a tobacco plantation in Motueka I was a handyman of sorts around the farm- slashing the sweet flowering laterals of the plants placing the string-bound tobacco sticks into the kiln shifting the aluminium irrigation pipes from paddock to paddock plucking the sticky black weed along a motorised four-seater trolley Anyways, it was my last day in Motueka I planned to hitch down the west coast in the morning I was standing half-pissed outside the Imperial Hotel waiting for something/ anything to happen- it’s closing time earlier in the evening this crazy chick on the dance floor kept grabbing at & squeezing my testicles perhaps she was somewheres about A bloke emerges from the bottle shop with an armful of DB ‘Hey mate, where’s the party?’ I ask. 3 We pile into the back tray of the Hilux Its engine growling as we curve along the narrow dirt road bouncing like penned sheep, trapped in time A couple of ks up the road a young cop pulls us over & says: ‘OK you cunts. Everybody get out. Including you shits on the back. Driver, let me see your licence’ Young Doug is instructed not to drive the vehicle until 4AM but as the police tail light disappears from view Doug hops into the truck & as the truck speeds up he lets out a wild whoop- & it seems that everything is permissible that nothing really matters but the moment 4 The party ‘did good’ for a while there was a bathtub full of grog the host seemed affable enough but as people started to leave I could feel myself nearing the edge I was talking to this tall blonde bimbo and I asked her something like, ‘Why do you put so much shit on your face?’ Her face buckled inwards & she quickly left the room I grabbed a large half eaten food platter of nuts and chips and carrot and dip & tossed it over my shoulder at her Greg runs into the room> He’s seething > He’s shouting at me above the music: ‘WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?’ 5 I sense he wants to fight & leave the party immediately I know I can smash his dopey face in I don’t want to lose another visa Staggering up the cold road. I’m disorientated. I walk for about an hour presumably towards town & later try to sleep for a while in a ditch clutching my jean jacket. I continue my journey & come across a cannery I’ll allowed to sleep on a pallet In the night- for some reason- I dreamt of an unimaginable horror- that I was being married! But when the time came during the ceremony to sign my name in the Marriages Registry I began writing obscenities. ‘Fuck you- you cunt. Who The fuck you think you are? Etc…’ Everyone was laughing. I decide to call the wedding off and speak to the father of the bride We agreed to split the bill for the wedding which comes to $10,000 I agreed to pay interest as well. I work out that I would have to pay $140 per week.. In the morning as I’m thinking all this I hear someone sweeping at my head He reckons I was walking the wrong way I hitch to Motueka, pick up my gear at the batch & start thumbing for rides down the west coast
Epilogue I don’t know what prompted me to record this experience nor what I have achieved by it but every last syllable is true- apart from the dream near the end which was told to me by a friend about twenty years ago He rang me the other day and explained how he was trying to get his daughter enrolled in the conservatorium how they had joined the choir of a local church group as a stepping stone how much her tuba playing has improved lately through private tuition… |
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