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natalie fern bell

Natalie grew up on a farm in the Idaho desert. At the age of 15 she moved to Houston, Texas where she currently resides. She has been writing poetry since the age of 11.



All Hallow's Eve, 1941

First I saw the smoke clear
Then the planes flying overhead
The angels swept in to take the dead
It was then when I vowed
Never to kill again

Hitler's men burnt down the synagogue
Too, they set matches to my picture of you
I questioned God for the first time since birth
The light from above did not shine so brightly
Like the sun bleaching my hair on a summer afternoon
Our neighbors cried out without praise for Jesus
The streets, a Sabbath awaiting the next full moon

Can anyone tell me where goes yesterday,
and today?
Then comes tomorrow, rushed away

They etched the names of those dead
Onto a slab of cement
Thousands of lives lost
Only room for a name
On that 8 by 10 cement box
Generations of elation lost
To one man's cause

I opened my text book,
and in glory and gore
Came the story of a junkie
The world stood still for
The prophecy of Satan
Holding a political position
Almost came true on all Hallow's Eve, of 1941
70 years and then some
Still, have failed to undo
What over night, one man
and his army of goats
Left like a flag, taunting the country side
So many hearts broken
So many life stories,
Books bound, then undone

Centuries after Jesus
Arrived then revised the Old Testament
He sent a message of hope, and love
But his disciples, like men do
Bent the story, then broke it in two
Pulled it long ways, then high
To make up for what was lost
Only God is perfect,
and man is the only animal who is flawed

So, I walked
My back awaiting bullets from the battlefield
I shed my suit of lies
Threw my hat into the mud,
The gray skies echo this ominous feeling
The world could end today and I'd be happy
The rain kissed my face
My lips had been thirsty for relief for so much time
Its amazing the things we learn to live with
I feel betrayed,
I know I've been brain washed
But it is not us who inflict the pain who bear the cost

I squat, and press my hands to the scorched earth
Feel her pain race through my veins
First a shock tickling my funny bone
I recall the Giver
He beared the pain of all this world's memories
and he felt the joy too,
Of an infant in his mother's arms
Safe from harm and whatever Adam and Eve brought into this world
Its a shame, but I know
That no matter how sorry you are
You will not heal the scars you inflicted,
That is forever
Mother and teacher,
You gave me the gift of life
You supply the night which guards me on my journey's
and the sun who feeds the plants who nourish me
You will never know how sorry I am
Should I return to you this instant
I will have escaped all this hate and sickness
I will be the first one out of this circus
and I will lock the doors behind me
Let the howling dogs of Hell do their deeds

I am going to America,
Little did I know
That no matter how far I go
My memory will chase me
She will not let me sleep without remembering
I am bound to her like roots bound to the earth
Though I pray daily,
I know God will never forgive me.


The Monster From Gondwana

He survived the ice age somehow
His feet padding the ground
The ground shaking beneath his magnificence
How the scientists would love to catch this on tape

He traveled from what was once known as Gondwana
By ocean to inhabit the broken off pieces of the continent
His only companion today, a daughter of Eve
A cave dweller, she never longed for the surface
Everything she needs is right here
An education is overrated, and so is society
But alas, she's never heard of those things

She and the monster from Gondwana
We oblivious to centuries of man raping Mother Earth
For federal reserve notes and compressed pieces of silver
They lived in harmony where the Loch Ness met the entrance of a cave
Yards beneath where the Sun feeds the leaves
They won't be disappointed when she burns out
In fact, they'll be relieved
Loch Ness will spit them out into the sea
Where they'll shiver as they near where the Sun used to be

The monster from Gondwana will tell her the tale
Of when his ancestors were forced to take cover in the Arctic Ocean
He explained that Antarctica is now a sheet of ice floating above the sea, lonely
His only company a well known urban myth about a man named Saint Nicholas,
Who is alleged to travel this entire earth in just one evening
Once, he says, Millions of lifetimes ago
This earth's landmass was one
That is where I come from,
It seems like a fairy tale now, I know
But back then the Sun shone shamelessly,
Our mother flourished with no fear of her children
Conspiring against her to turn her soil into riches
That was when the Bible was written
Mankind is the only animal who knows Sin
My untainted Child,
It is just as well that he got wiped out.


Red and Blue Flashing Lights

I turned on the shower
Sat down in the tub
Watched the water spin down the drain
Leaned back, repeated to myself again,
and again
Jumbled words even I couldn't understand

I imagined driving out of view
My tires trekking the coast line
The birds, m's floating in the sky
The falls leave
Comes spring in time
Jesus said to drink the blood, and spill the wine

Now its the morning after
I stroll out to the street
Where the sun meets me,
Shining down through oak leaves
The neighborhood dogs come to the edge of the yard to show me their teeth
The traffic passes by at little to no speed
Everyone in this town is sleeping or day dreaming
and I'm wishing I could be

Last night two men pulled up to the curb in a white Impala
I saw red and blue flashing lights dance across my bedroom wall
I heard their shiney vinyl shoes scuff across the lawn
One went through the gate in the back
Then the butt of the other's flashlight rapping on the front door
I laid still beneath my blanket
Thinking if I pulled the sheet over my eyes they would not be able to see us
You stirred in your sleep but did not wake
More shuffles across the grass
A flashlight shown through the window
Revealing the candels on the sill, and toy soldiers
I watched your eye lids flutter as I placed my hand over your chapped lips
Then your pupils dilate with fright
I kept my hand over your mouth
As I wondered if we could hide in the attic until they left
The insulation developing rashes on our skin
In those two seconds before those men in uniforms kicked in our door
I fantasized a narrow escape onto the roof
Leaping like a superhero into the neighbors back yard
Climbing up into the branches of the crab apple tree we climbed as kids, to hide
Then fleeing to Mexico, stealthy in the night
Dancing to the band in a desert village
You shaved your legs and put on a cocktail dress
I bought a cheap khaki suit and parted my hair
and we danced
Your lips in a grin
Your smile, damp teeth on my skin
I looked up to the stars, and thanked them
Then came the police raid
Shaking me from my brief escape
You never spoke
and your eyes never left mine
As they pulled you from my arms
In your night clothes they put you in the back of their car
I stood helplessly on the curb
and watched
As they sped off, into the rising sun

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