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laura woodard
Laura Woodard is a Virginia college student who writes in merciless
spontaneous openess.
GREAT LIFE ... huh?
god, i just wanna shoot myself. i mean not really shoot myself,
just take shots. i never think about drinking alone. i think
my self-confidence or lack of is sometimes shown when i talk
about my life, but then again, what is my life? i fucking hate
myself sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
much now.. god damnit, im such a fucking idiot, i did such a
stupid stupid thing, why the hell did i get myself into this
mess, all over again, why why whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? im sitting
as i cry my eyes out, and u have no idea what its about, but
maybe u have some clue, u know how badly some guys treat me,
how much i can stand, how much ive not been w/ any real man,
but just some wannabe thing calling itself one, but no, no no
no, i dont want this, i dont want shit, i am not shit, i dont
want more than a picture in two yrs, why the fuck?????????????????
do i care???????????? i dont care about him anymore, i dont,
i really dont, i am so damn confused. why the hell did u have
to say that, now i feel so damn used, i have no idea how much
it hurts in words, i skirt so many issues, i forgot so many,
so many reasons why i didnt wanna be w/ him, or that other him,
well both of them, hell, i think all of them, fuck all of em,
almost everyone.. i wanna see him so much, i wanna see him so
damn much, it hurts inside so much, and i cant now. i called
him but no answer, i called him again and i know hes gotta be
there by now. just reach your quiet home now. help me like u
used to, u used to put me to sleep as id weep, u could do that
in just a few minutes, but theres nowhere to keep the messages
played in my head, cept for there, show me u care, show me u
give a fuck, show me yourself, show urself to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dont be so afraid, i really wanna see u period amen god if u
are here, ud say amen huh? do u even talk to me? i dont think
so. i havent heard much from god lately. and i havent heard anything
from him either. maybe if i listened, id hear something. maybe
if i stoppedstopped crying, stopped dying slowly inch by inch,
my bodys growing smaller and smaller, losing all the serotonin
day by day. i cant take this, here i cant stay, dont put on this
act like in a play, dont tell me its all my fault, don't tell
me dont talk to me, fuck , fuck u. i dont want prozac or zoloft
again. please no. i just want to know whats going on. im not
a ho. i dont wanna be taken advantage of. and dont tell me where
i need to go, no, now to see a doctor, its nothing he can fix,
and damnit, its nothing that other he can either, god couldnt
even do anything about this if hes anywhere. i should stop crying,
its getting me nowhere. nowhere to anywhere i wanna be, why does
this keep on happening? i set myself up. u let go and i want
more, and i cant see where im going anymore.
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